Couple quick notes this Halloween.....

• Bastard Love Child??

Karl Rove.......

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....and Dwight Schrute (from the U.S. version of The Office)

Gotta love YouTube....Damm, NEVER knew that The Fall made a video for Cruisers Creek......why doesn't Brix Smith play guitar in the courtyard of MY office......might make staff meetings more fun....and give us ideas on how to have better office parties!!

Ever realise that.....

......you just weren't cut out to be an upstanding, productive member of society?

So.....it's Saturday morning! Now, since I'm not traveling this weekend, and I'm in town....I could do things that really neeeeed to be done!

Ooooh.....clean the house and get a haircut are thee very first two (of a list a mile long) that come to mind straight off the bat.

But, waking up on a typical Saturday Morning when I am in town.....I often find that I was attacked the night before by the Stupidity Bug! Said virus encourages me to.....ohhh....do things that simply aren't logical or rational!

So, in keeping with the pattern of the Stupidity Bug, this Saturday Morning, I woke up and decided that this weekend would be an excellent time to watch The Buffalo Sabres attempt an NHL record 11 victories straight out of the gate (start the season 11 and 0)........







......and to watch said match in Seattle, about 180 miles from my abode in The Hills of Cedar......














.....and to journey up towards the Emerald City on my skooter!


This course of action was decided.....errrmm.....five minutes after I physically got up and left my bed!


Right......


Well, Sabres turned the puck over waaaay too many times and lost, and I learned a few things about riding a two wheeled vehicle long-distances on Interstate highways.

DISLIKES -


Well.....

• Wet grooved pavement in a construction zone (ALWAYS fun for doing the dreaded Oh-Christ-PLEASE-don't-tip balance test).....on an URBAN part of the Interstate where everybody else is doing 70 - 75 M.P.H.

• Following behind Double-Trailer Semi trucks (ALWAYS fun for doing the dreaded down draught keep-skooter-under-control test) and not being able to pass it because the traffic is bumper-to-bumper in the left lane and nobody really feels like letting you squeeze in to pass this behemoth son-of-a-bitch!!

• Fighting 30 - 35 M.P.H. near-gale cross winds while on something that has a total combined weight (including my fat arse on it) of maybe 550 lbs. or so. ALWAYS fun for doing the dreaded SHIT!! AM-I-able-to-stay-in-the-lane? test!!

Christ.....really could have used my old CB 650 for that!! THAT thing was a beast.......surprisingly powerful yet surprisingly heavy!!!















OK. And......likes?

Likes -

• Carhartt coats! Can't say that I was cold this time (of course, unlike the ill-fated attempt at riding to The Ocean three weeks ago, I also didn't cross any mountain ranges this time....being a Geographer, I just simply followed the Willamette Meridian [a.k.a.: I-5] in a Northward direction).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• Obtaining a new appreciation for just what an exact total pain-in-the-ass (in certain riding conditions....like the conditions I had encountered) CONTROLLING a bike can be. And appreciative for the fact that, before I started riding, I wasn't killed in some of these conditions (like wind shears faaaaaaaaar more powerful than the ones I rode in today and surviving riding on an Interstate during hyper rains that led to a serious flood!). You just don't realise EXACTLY HOW difficult controlling the bike is during shit like this when you're a passenger....

• Autumn in The Pacific Northwest. Travel magazines always scream about how stunning New England is in October. Good......fewer people coming up here!

• Making it back to Portlandia in one piece....going straight to a downtown pub (that I don't regularly frequent) for a couple of celebratory pints of Drop Top, and having the barmaid say "No worries......I got one of those for you".............typical of My People!

• 390 total miles round trip!! In my car?? $42.00 in petrol. On my skooter? It set me back 5.8 gallons of 92 octane petrol! $13.10!!!!

• The riding gloves friend and co-worker John Osterberg gave me! Thanx, John......they performed admirably through a fairly daunting task.....I mean, in addition to keeping my paws quite warm, I couldn't see just HOW white my knuckles were through these gloves whilst dealing with the gentle, wafting breezes of I-5.....

• Popping back into my pad.....HOT shower, Vampire Merlot from Romania (thanx to one of my housemates), and some killer extra sharp white cheddar from Utah (kindly provided by my friend in Seattle)
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-E-

p.s. - no....really.....Bobo and Ernie Football wars will resume next week!

WHY hire a renown architect.......

.....when the bricks have already been put into place?

Sorry....sorry...sorry.....'nother sports posting.....

Just sick of hearing what a true leader and phenomenal skipper Jim Leyland is for leading Detroit to the World Series!

This article is thee biggest joke. It states that the situations of Jim Leyland and Lou Pinella are similar. I love the line: If you spend money and give him players, he'll give you a winner. And fast

Nooooooo? Ya THINK?? I woulda never guessed.....

Naw, sorry....uhhh, that is NOT what makes a truly great manager/coach/leader. Ted Nolan, the best example I can think of, took a Buffalo Sabres team with a miniscue payroll, got them to perform, made the playoffs....and then won NHL Coach of the Year honours! THAT is a great coach/manager/leader.

Leeeet's see.......

In 1997 Jim Leyland won the World Series with the Florida Marlins! Cool. Now, right before that ONE year, Marlins owner H. Wayne Huizenga (yes, the guy who ran Waste Management and Blockbuster Entertainment) went absolutely apeshit and bought thee very best baseball stars he could......cost be dammed!!

In 1998....Huizenga had a fire sale and dumped all of the star talent on that 1997 World Championship team.

Sooooo.....the Marlins 1998 team?? How'd they do??

Uhhh....try 54 wins..............108 losses!!

Leyland, always up for a challenge, resigned right after that 1998 season.

Hell, there's even a book about it written by David Rosenbaum: If They Don't Win It's a Shame: The Year the Marlins Bought the World Series

Or maybe he WAS up for a challenge....maybe a quick paycheque...who knows? Because in 1999, Leyland took over as Manager for The Colorado Rockies.

With his stunning managerial skills (1999 Rockies record: 72-90) and Leyland's belief in commitment and leadership (the guy didn't buy a house in Denver....didn't even rent an apartment - HE SLEPT IN THE FUCKING CLUBHOUSE AT COORS FIELD!!!), Jim figured that his work there was done after one season! After 1999, he left The Rocks....

Couldn't have said it better myself.......

Damm....MAYBE Ted Nolan will get fired from the New York Islanders....and The Rocks will hire him.......

....GO CARDINALS!!!!

-E-

Few quick notes back from the NorthEast.....

• Christ....we (Oregonians) DON'T drive very well at all....do we??

• Must be tough paying $2.05 for a gallon of petrol.........

• WHO makes up TSA rules? I mean, I lost two freshly purchased tins of Edge shaving gel!! First....told by a TSA dude at PDX who looked like he just got back from his doobie break "just can't have this, man!" OK....so then, on the way back, accidentally left the one I bought back East (to replace the one they confiscated at PDX) in my bags and at the airport, they found it and took it and offered me the details........

Now, get THIS SHIT - If.....IF it had BEEN PLACED IN A ZIPLOC BAG....it would have been allright. So I ask the TSA rep for clarification.....

"What......wait....OK, so, I spray some gel in a Ziploc baggie and then scoop it out of there when I want to shave??"

"No, noooo.....no. You pop the whole shaving gel, in its can, inside the Ziploc"!!!

"WHAT THE FUCK DIFFERENCE does THAT make??? So, wait a sec.....if I pack an AK-47, it can't go on....but if it's in a fucking ZIPLOC....THEN it's OK??????"

"Sir, we DO have comment cards that go to TSA Administration and they didn't explain that exact policy to us and you can feel free to fill out a comment card and......."

Fucking bizarro world.......

-E-

Sorry..........

..........no Ernie/Bobo challenge this weekend.

Out of town attending a funeral.......

Back Tuesday.....

-E-

So....in the broadcast booth, or in a book or wherever.......

....I wonder what statements made pertaining to sports are deemed racist, and why?

Thin line...

Well, yeah....when Jimmy"The Greek" Snyder stated in 1988: "The black is a better athlete because he's been bred to be that way. During slave trading, the slave owner would breed his big woman so that he would have a big, black kid, see. That's where it all started."

OK...racist enough..uncalled for...not cool....right....

But Steve Lyons pathetic, unfunny attempt at banter to make fun of Lou Pinella during Friday the 13th's American League Pennant Series match between Oakland and Detroit got him canned from the broadcast booth......

...I don't get it.

I read the comments several times over.....I dunno.....maybe I'M a racist and insensitive!! I didn't see it as anything but a poke at Lou Pinella. That's JUST WHAT IT WAS: Unfunny, and pathetic.......

I mean, former pitcher (and fellow Geography major) Bill Lee, who played for The Boston Red Sox and The Montreal Expos (now called "The Washington Gnats") wrote in his book The Wrong Stuff about a chance meeting with Los Angeles Dodgers General Manager Al Campanis and how Campanis thought he had Lee sussed:

"Lee, you'll never pitch a day in the Majors. You don't have an overhand fastball like (Sandy) Koufax, you don't have an overhand curveball like Koufax and........."

Bill Lee cut Al off at that point and stated: "........yeah, and I'm not Jewish, so I guess that's three strikes!"

Errmm.......so does that statement mean Bill Lee is Anti-Semitic??

For fuck's sake....Bill Lee is more lefty than I am.....if that's possible......

WHY do we have to create some seriously convoluted paths by reading too far into what somebody says???

And thee best part? Lyons was fired by FOX network for these remarks!! So, I guess FOX NEWS guest commentator Michelle Malkin and HER comment about Islam being ".....the religion of perpetual outrage...." will ensure that she's never seen on FOX NEWS ever again for those insensitive remarks..........

......right.....

...right????

....right?

....hello...?
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Ken Lay had his convictions wiped out today.

Ahh....OK....on a legal technical ground? Flawed trial, perhaps??

Nope....

.....and this is no shit, the Judge in the case went by a lower court precedent, which held: "......that a defendant's death pending appeal extinguished his entire case because he hadn't had a full opportunity to challenge the conviction and the government shouldn't be able to punish a dead defendant or his estate."

Soooo......does that mean that....oohhh....say, Jeffrey Dahmer, who died before HIS appeals were completed.....well, or ANYBODY ELSE, for that matter, AUTOMATICALLY has their convictions vacated upon dying??

Right now...somebody is staring upwards from the Depths of Hell below (or from a tiny island in The Caribbean, for those who feel that Lay staged his own death)...and smirking at this ruling......




















-E-

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I was NOT touched....

.....by His Noodly Appendage this weekend.


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....just fucking absurd. Seriously, WHY do I even try??










7 correct out of 16 picks and no four-for-four cards hit = 43.75%
















9 correct out of 16 picks and also no four-for-four cards hit (BUT, two cards that were three-out-of-four)= 56.25%



Aaaaand, so far this season -

The E .............................................51.25%
Bobo ............................................. 51.75%



OK....now, WHY do I do this again?

Thee NEXT time I lose to Bobo, screw it: HE'S picking my picks from that point onwards....

Just embarrassing......making a monkey out of me.....

Anyone got a lock on this weekend's matches??? Shit, ANY help would be appreciated now.......

-E-

NOT terribly well thought out......

I felt like taking a ride to The Ocean today, so it's typical stunningly beautiful Oregon weather(misty, light fog, and slightly cool), so I throw on a normal T-shirt, then basically something that looks like a long sleeve fleece T-shirt, then a thick hooded sweatshirt.....cool.

Hop on and ride....

Well, the Oregon Coast Range Mountains sit about halfway between Portlandia and The Pacific Ocean. OK, it might get a touch chilly up there.....now, no, they ARE NOT The Rockies, but still.....

.....aw hell, I figure.....I mean, between the thin fleece and the heavy hooded sweatshirt, I'm fine.....no worries. So I hop on, start up my skooter, and head off into the Sunset Highway (US 26)......

Fucking hell, man does orographic cooling have a pronounced effect....what the fuck was I thinking??

By the time I got the the summit of The Coast Range Mountains (nothing HUGE....but like 1800 ft. up......compared to Portland's 55 feet above sea level) about 25 miles to The Coast, I'd realised that THAT was the VALLEY side I just climbed up, and now, going downhill, in the OCEANWARD side of the range....and basically by far, the VALLEY side of the coast range summit was the warmer of the two!!! Shit was getting waaaay cloudy and waaaay cold....lots colder than the valley side of the range. Went ten miles past the summit and just figured "fuck it" and turned around when my nose was involuntarily running and things were just getting ridiculous!!

Damm.....and I REALLY wanted to ride Hwy. 101!! Aw well......summer, then......
















Jesus Christ, plan this shit out better, E!!! Uuhhhhh.....there's a reason everyone on a motorcycle riding the coast road was wearing reeeaaaallllly think black jackets today, brain surgeon......


But Christ, how do some people actually ride in the WINTER????


Weird, and some of them going the other way looked at me and pointed their open palm to the ground. I have no idea why....maybe to show me where the ground was in relation to my position, I have no idea......

.....vege at home with a hot meal, a bottle of niiiice Zinfandel and relax.

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Well....the majority of people in Western New York are without power.....which means that they won't have to suffer through watching The Bills this weekend.......but sadly, they'll miss the the undefeated Buffalo Golden Slugs.....errrr.......I mean, undefeated Buffalo SABRES!!!

Whilst usually a big fan of Government............

...boy did this ever make Government look like shit.

OK......

There was this divey little tiki bar/Chinese restaurant in the south part of downtown Portland....across the street from where I used to work (the 1900 bldg.) and a couple blocks away from where I used to attend higher education....

Been there for a bit.....I enjoyed it, so did several others.

OK.......


So, the PDC (Portland Development Commission) strongly suggests other uses for the property that The Jasmine Tree currently (as well as for the past....errmm.....30 years) leases.

And they say..........according to the Vanguard: Kathryn Krygier, a PDC development manager, said the goal of the project is to provide the area with middle-income housing, which it currently lacks.

Ooooooh-Kay. Now, for starters, I've seen enough of this bullshit in Portland. Basically, what happens is that a developer craves an up-and-coming yuppie-fiable neighbourhood. The City looks lefty in APPEARANCE and tells said developer "NO!!! we DEMAND affordable housing....so, make ten percent of your total dwelling units rentable and we'll give you a tax break for it for 10 years!!!!!!" and thus, they cut an absolute horseshit deal where the developer states "OK! 75 unit condo goes up!! 10 percent of the units (8 studios, usually) will be NOT SOLD, but rented for what is deemed to be an affordable rent............"

"...oh yeah.......uhhh....and, in return, you give us a tax break!"

Right, let's look at 'what is deemed affordable rent', shall we? Let's look at the Gretchen Kafoury Commons monthly rent....right by Portland State University.

Sooooo.......following "affordable income guidelines", we have:

1 Bedroom/1 bathroom = $625 - $695 per month
2 bedroom/1 bathroom - $805 per month


Uhhh......OK, cool. For downtown Portland, that seems cool.

BUT....BUUUUUT, these are "low income apartments"!

So WHAT EXACTLY qualifies one person for entrance into these apartments??

No greater income than 40% MFI (Median Family Income) in the Portland Metro Area.

OK.....cool.....so, as a single person, that means WHAT????

Sooooo........according to the Portland Metro Area MFI guidelines, one solo individual, to qualify to reside in the Gretchen Kafoury Commons, can make no more than......

.....DRUMROLL, [please]........................

SIXTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS ANNUALLY!! *

*NOTE: This also assumes that Joe or Jane convenience store owner who employs you also covers 100% of your medical insurance




And that's WHAT again?? $625 rent for a one bedroom???

WTF????????



So guess fucking WHAT?? At 8 bucks an hour one earns working at the convenience store downtown that charges $6.00 for a pack of cigarettes and $10 for a sixer of shit beer........

....YOU are jus' makin' way too much money to live at Gretchen's place.......

And even if you DID qualify.....the tax breaks and the REQUIREMENTS on the developer for "affordable" hosing die in TEN YEARS. And THEN WHAT??


Uhhh....can you say "Goes Condo"???

OK....allright.....so, the original point being simply that, according to the Portland Development Commission, the Jasmine Tree is being booted because "...the goal of the project is to provide the area with middle-income housing, which it sorely lacks....."

OK, whilst I'm no 25-year veteran, I've been in Government long enough to see that "GOALS" often do not become "STATUTE CODE POLICY" due to some......errrmmm...."external influences" (MAYBE, [operative term here MAYBE] perhaps, the political and fiscal clout of developers?)

Right, so when the area surrounding The Jasmine Tree is developed according to the P.D.C.'s wishes.....

.....tell me, at the median HOUSEHOLD income of Portland, being $65,000 right now, will you find the sale price of a new 2 bedroom condo in the area where the Jasmine Tree used to stand, going for less than $500,000??

If a certain Bureau grows a pair of balls or ovaries and makes these GOALS a REAL POLICY.....then you will........

But, sadly, facing with what were FORMERLY apartments in the southern part of Downtown (Portland City Center Apartments) going condo, and asking and getting $650,000 to purchase a one-bedroom condo........I tend to doubt you'll find Middle Income condo ownership for less than $500, 000

....otherwise, don't hold your breath.......




And a city that CLAIMS to be as progressive as Portlanda actually not only ALLOWS this shit.....but FACILITATES it???

Disillusioned....that's all I can say......

-E-

Special place in Hell.......

......waiting for this person!

Well done, Judge Warman! I salute you.....

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.......well, I've never been concerned about this!

Why the fuck bother? It's two things in one word! It's a gargantuan lie, and it's a feel-good/rah-rah corporate buzzword!!

So, when job interview time comes, you tell them about how you routinely read E-Mail and make a perfectly toasted bagel at the same time and then you butter it whilst at the exact same time text-messaging your wife to tell her to pick up the children from soccer practise this afternoon........

.....some mid-level manager/low-level junior VP hears this during your interview, starts pitching a tent in his trousers, and volia!!! YOU got the job......

....then, shortly thereafter, at your desk, you dual-task: Surfing the internet while (at the same time) thinking about which brain-numbing mundane task you should attempt to perform next and JUST EXACTLY HOW LONG can you drag it out for ("....hmmm......refill paper-clip dispenser. THAT should take a good ten minutes if I work it right......" "Wait, though....I can also stare aimlessly at this Excel spreadsheet for the next thirty minutes whenever [insert boss' name here] walks by......hmmm......").

I mean....multi-tasking: Do you really believe in this shit??







Yeeeeahhhhh.........that'd be greeeeeaaaat..........say, did you get the fax about.....

....Christ, what happened to me??

I remember not terribly long ago, when somebody would ask me who I go with for auto insurance, I'd give them The Jerry Brown Look and stutter "Au- au-....auto in- insure 'insurance'?? What's that??"

















Then I started getting auto insurance.....



And yesterday, I went out and got my class M license.

Scary.....I literally think I know TWO people who ride or have ridden recently who hold a class M license.....seems like everybody else I've met who rides thinks it's optional.

Good part is, though, that it removed the dork-like pic from my old license and gave me a better, newer pic where I look more like a human being.....


WHEN did I start paying attention to the rules??

Better yet, WHY did I start paying attention to the rules.

Shit, I've been working for The Government for far too long now....look what it's done to me!!!!!!

WHY do I even bother........??

• Did I say something about the Bills and 10-1/2 points Saturday? No.....noooo....no, no, no! I meant to say THE SABRES! Yeah.....take the Sabres......yeah, sure....that's what I meant! GO GOLDEN SLUGS......errr, I meant, go Sabres!
  
  
  
  
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• Don't take anything away from Da Bears.....but The Bills looked like it was the first time they had ever seen a football field! J.P. Losman is looking less and less like "the quarterback of the future" and how long is this "let's give the kid a chance" shit going to go on for?!!? He looked like he was lost in the woods.....he had the Jerry Brown Look* on his face all day.........
  
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* I'll explain the story of The Jerry Brown Look on another day....let's just say that it's synonomous with being lost and bewildered whilst taken aback. Deer in the headlights sort of thing....


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Can't believe I'm actually posting this.......







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6 correct out of 12 total = 50% (no four-for-four cards hit)

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6 correct out of 12 total = 50% (no four-for-four cards hit either, but Bobo DID come the closest, hitting three-for-four on one of his cards. I also had Bobo randomly do a ten-pick card......he hit seven on that one.)



Saw the first season of the American version of The Office this week....it's not David Brent and Dawn Tinsley.....nowhere near as good as the BBC version, it seems like they try too hard......but they have a lot to be proud of: It doesn't totally suck...and seriously, that in and of itself is far beyond what I had expected before I watched this version.....

Oh yeah....and Norf Korea has the nuke.....just thought I'd remind you.......

-E-

Random Saturday Afternoon Ramblings.....

• Vegas has Da Bears as 10-1/2 point favourites over Our Buffalo Bills. Take The Bills on this one!! (Sunday 10-8-2006 10AM, KOIN-6 TV)

• Was looking at some paperwork from the Buildings Division at work yesterday when it struck me: We have one guy in my Department (Community Development....now isn't THAT a warm and fuzzy title for a bureau) whose name is George Steele.......and another guy whose named Jim Duggan! This is no shit.....look it up youself on the links to the names above....

They ARE the best tag-team we got against the housebuilding lobby and the developers!!

• Oh......they WERE serious??

I had poked at Bucky's in an earlier post about how there's never one around when you need one! Matt Groening did this in The Simpsons episode where Bart gets his ear pierced ("Better hurry up, kid, and get your ear pierced. In five minutes, this place closes down and becomes a Starbucks"), and The Onion had a great go at 'em....

....so I see this in MSNBC.com! I thought they were just having a go at The Onion, or pathetically attempting to actually be satirical or something. Nope.....it was true, and they said it in a straight face and a serious tone......Bucky's has expansion plans!!

OK....which Howard Schultz quote is from The Onion story and which one is from the MSNBC story:

A) - "We dont believe that we are even 50 percent through to the unique opportunity we have in North America" founder and Chairman Howard Schultz said

B) - According to Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, the new location represents the beginning of a long-term expansion plan


C) - "Drink our coffee" Schultz said. "Drink it!"


Scary, isn't it......wonder what the Starbucks Oracle thinks of this.....??













Bobo and Ernie results tomorrow night!

-E-

And now, we can torture them with our..............

......culture of obesity!


Just too funny....now, you too, Haji, can be an ugly, obese American!

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Oh right....shit....almost forgot!

Remember when I told you about "Trailer Park Night in Washington State" (bottom half of THIS post)?? Got the pics back AND now I got my Broadband....so here are the pics of our luxury accommodations at a bare-bones price (clicking on each Image will enlarge it):

Our trailer -
































The Silver Bullet -












Little trailer turds -











And, finally, The White Trash Dream -















More tomorrow......

-E-

And.....with a bit of prodding.......

.....my Internet is online at my new place a week ahead of schedule.



Between being deathly ill this weekend and trying to move and set up in my new pad (fun taking the tube to work everyday).......not much time to really think about Sports Action's NFL picks this week.....

But I managed to snag two 4-pick cards, and so did Bobo!

And...............??













5 correct out of 8 total picks = 62.5% (no four-for-four cards)

















Also 5 correct out of 8 total picks = 62.5% (no four-for-four cards, either)



Errmmm.........right.........

So....uhhh....this season's NFL matches can be just as easily and successfully be picked by a orangutan as they can by this blog's author.....

Finally, dissent IS patriotic......

(Thanx to an astute reader from Virginia for bringing this to my attention)

May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage....

-E-