Just a few final notes for 2006......

• Well, IF The Skull-Zombie (Bills head coach Dick Jauron) had tried a field goal attempt that was a lot more achievable that he or Rian Lindell would have you believe, and made it, guess what??? YEP, the Denver Donkeys lost and so did Cincinnatti and Jacksonville. So that would have left the Jets (already in due to better record) taking the 5th playoff seed and, so what of the 6th and last playoff seed?? YEP!! The Bills and the Kansas City Chiefs would have tied! And then what?? Then the Bills get in and take the last playoff spot based on better conference record! DEATH to The Skull-Zombie Jauron!! Long hail Coach LEVY!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

• MARV woulda had the guts to try that kick, and we'd be in the playoffs today!!

• Actually, given the shape he's in at 80 years old, Marv himself would have kicked and MADE that field goal....

• Not huge on annual lists.....but this actually made me laff out loud! Read it, enjoy it.

Next year!

-E-

The Ladies Auxiliary of Wheatfield, NY





Uuuhhhh, guys...........

.....the more you open your mouths, the worse you make things appear.

So go out, and pass the hat around the neighbourhood, and hire a reputable P.R. firm with the proceeds, 'cause Christ knows, you really need one.

Right, so whilst I'm not really too into getting back to this, I had seen the following in an article in The Buffalo News (I'm not putting anymore Buffalo News links on here, because they shut 'em down after 14 days, and make 'em archive-only, which only allows you to see 'em for a buck-ninety-nine a pop).....and man!! These explanations are just stunning!! Check it, Yo! (Buffalo News story text in red font):


Riegel has been through this process enough times in the past 25 years to conclude that race and class are at the heart of the opposition - a charge that residents vehemently dispute.

A 64-unit affordable-housing project called the Townhomes at Shawnee Landing, is getting a lot of attention. Neighbors have turned out by the hundreds in the past two weeks to complain, and opponents argue that the new housing would adversely impact drainage, result in congested traffic and crowd Niagara-Wheatfield Central School District classrooms.

But an anonymous flier and thinly veiled references to race at a recent standing-room-only town meeting - combined with a pro-development town supervisor's spur-of-the-moment call for a three-week building moratorium - make this anything but a typical development fight.

Some residents say they had no idea multiple-unit housing was being built at the site on Klemer Road, just around the corner from homes selling for a quarter-million dollars.

Others say they knew about the project but had been led to believe it was designed for senior citizens, not for low-income families.

Steve Kishel of Trails End, who was elected president of the group, said previous accounts of residents' remarks were not representative of the committee. (ed. note - or, at least that Wheatfield residents should NOT have made these remarks when television cameras were present)

OK, so, in Wheatfield, NY (a suburb of both, Niagara Falls, NY and Buffalo, NY that sits equidistant between the two that was created by White Flight from both cities) we have anonymous notes left on the doors of residents stating "....this development will bring in people of all colours into Wheatfield....." and a local church leader screaming at a recent town board meeting about how they don't want "the gang-bangers" and all of the other sorts of elements that low-income housing might bring in.

"You know what type of people will be there," said Jim Adams, of the nearby Timberlake subdivision. "I'm sorry if that offends anybody." (ed. note - homes in the Timberlake subdivision sticker price around $350,000 - $550,000.....amongst the highest priced in Western New York)



Soooooo, now?

NOW, the townsfolk of Wheatfield, embarrassed at appearing to be racist (ed. note - "appearing"??), are now backtracking, stating theeee most unbelievable shit, like how they are just concerned that......uuuuhhh.....too much development might bring a strain on schools and the local infrastructure in general. Yeah, yeah, that's it, it's not blacks or low-income people we don't want here (or, Christ forbid, low-income African-Americans)....naw, it's just that were against over-development of our town......yeah.....that's it.

Yeah.....yeah, that's it. That's what we meant! Yeah, I mean, we're just against development in general.....that's all we're saying!! We're not against any specific group of people.....nooooo......

Ahhhh......no guys. Nice try.....

Actually, they woulda looked A LOT better if they just literally came out and stated the facts. The residents should have drafted a joint statement that would have looked like this:

"Well, yes, actually, Wheatfield IS a very homogeneous European-American town, and, yes, the vast majority of residents in this township did NOT originate here a few generations ago on farming homesteads, but rather most of us came here in droves in the 1970's, 1980's, 1990's and today as a result of White Flight from Niagara Falls and Buffalo!"

"So, really now: Do you think that we wish to invite these same Blacks INTO our new neighbourhood now, since they were the ones that we were trying to escape from in the first place??? They DO NOT have our purchasing power and they are culturally unlike us. And besides, they all go out and rob all the time!"

"I mean, yeah, when we thought that this was a low-income housing project FOR SENIORS....well, OK, then....because those 65 or better generally don't commit crimes.....even the Darkies! They quit robbing after about age fifty, which is when they add about five seconds to their 40-yard-dash time, and our corpulent Law Enforcement agents are able to almost catch 'em."


The sad fact is that there had been almost noooooooooooo town resident opposition to almost ANY OTHER subdivisions in the Town of Wheatfield....yet, yet, for just one example, the three Wheatfield subdivisions of Forest Lake, Spice Creek and Eaglechase (just three of the dozens of subdivisions that, existing and proposed, have sprung up in Wheatfield in the past six years or so) have a combined total of MORE THAN 350 new lots/houses.

Ummm.....the proposed Townhomes at Shawnee Landing low-income housing development??

It has 65 units......

Soooooo, wait: WHICH ONE is the bigger strain on schools, fire, water, sewer, police, and the infrastructure again??

Right, but the good people of the Town of Wheatfield crave racial diversity, and regularly enjoy welcoming lower-income folks into their community!!! It's just that they want NO MORE DEVELOPMENT and the associated strain that it puts on the infrastructure.....yeeeeaaaah.....that's all it is.

OK, so THAT is the only reason they are opposed to the Townhomes at Shawnee Landing. No more development. Cool....great!

Now, since that's the case, the next 213 lot subdivision (that will have an average house price of $500,000 to $750,000) that gets proposed to the town planners of Wheatfield will be VEHEMENTLY OPPOSED by the residents.

I mean, these good upstanding citizens of Wheatfield are well above ANY hypocrisy.......they will be against ANY future development in Wheatfield.....even if it increases their home's resale value........right?

Right?

Right.......?

Hello.....................................?

Direct quote from Steve Kishel, President of Wheatfield Residents Action Committee: "We don't want to stop development. We want to make sure we hold elected officials accountable."

READ AS - "Well, I mean, we weren't talking about stopping ALL development...but we're asking the Planning Board to use the following guideline in the future: "If it's affluent, and it's White, then it's all right! If it's poor, and it's Black, then send that shit back!"













New house as displayed in the 2006 Niagara County Builders Association Parade of Homes




MERRY CHRISTIMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.....

.....now, please get the fuck out of my suburb before I call the police.

-E-

Random Friday Night Rants.......

Niiiice going, Dick!

• I'm not too certain what I saw with the goal post flags during last Sunday's Bills-Tennessee game near the end of the 4th qtr. when the Bills were 4th-and-5, and were staring at a 45-yard field-goal attempt, but Skull-Zombie (Bills head coach Dick Jauron) decided to attempt a half-arsed pass play to get the five yards and it ended up in an interception which ended the game AND the Bills playoff chances. Skull-Zombie later told the assembled media after the loss (on pitifully attempting to explain his logic on the failed 4th-and-5 attempt) that "The last play of the game we were just outside of Rian's field-goal range, really a good deal outside of it by our marks....."

• No, this ISN'T playing Monday Morning Quarterback: Sure, there was wind, harsh at times. But what I had seen on TV was the goal-post red-tape flag-thingies A) - Stream in the wind INTERMITTENTLY, not CONSTANT! and B) - APPEAR to stream in a manner indicative of more of a CROSS-BREEZE then 100% purely in Bills kicker Rian Lindell's face.

• Oh.....2006 season stats?? Lindell is eight of ten from 40 - 49 yards out and two for two at 50 yards or further out!

Good to see a coach demonstrate confidence in his kicker.

Thanx, Dick....another post-season on the couch for our Bills.....


Christmas Thrill Ride From Hell......

• ALWAYS fun to trek through the deep, mountainous Interior of British Columbia in the winter on poorly-cleared roads (snow packed on top of black ice) with not snow tires, but rather all-seasons that are balder than (former Midnight Oil frontman) Peter fucking Garrett!!! On a two-laner (Hwy. 97c), got stuck for more than an hour in a traffic queue as (somehow) a Honda Accord almost literally sheared off the front nose of a Ford Econoline van and (somehow) sent the van 25 feet (8 metres) off the road and over a ditch and it still managed to stay upright!

• Still, though.....well worth it! Got to spend Christmas in an amazing mountain log house belonging to my friend's parents (straight off the boat from Bavaria) who told me that "Krugenjammer" is NOT a German term for a hangover, and probably not even a real German word at all. Last time I trust the trivia machine at The Old Pink for factual information........

• According to my friend's parents, the correct term is something like: "Ich habe ein affe"
• Which means: "I have a monkey." Errmm........OK.

• Others have told me that what the Old Pink's triv machine MEANT to state was not "Krugenjammer," but rather "Katzenjammer," which translates to "wailing cats." Errmm......OK.

And speaking of monkeys..........

16 games picked: Five correct = 31.25%













16 games picked: Nine correct = 56.25% INCLUDING a Oregon Sports Action first (for this year, anyways): A $4 four correct out of four card paying forty bucks!


You reap what you sow.......

• GOTTA hand it to the airlines! First, after years of mis-management driving most of them into Chapter 11, they, in a pathetic attempt to gouge money out of the traveling public, create artificial demand by drastically reducing the number of planes flying (thus, greatly reducing the number of available passenger seats). What happens? London gets buried with almost blinding fog thee exact same time Denver gets crushed by a blizzard!! Two major hub airports.....down! People stranded at airports for literally DAYS (because when the fog at LHR and the snow at DEN finally DO clear, there's simply not enough available seats to accommodate the people whose flights were cancelled.....at least not enough available seats until a few days later)! And ground agents wonder why they have to put up with infuriated passengers on an almost daily basis???? Ain't brain surgery, guys....figure it out!

Have a happy and safe New Year.....

-E-

Orchard Gardens, Boston, MA


Sometimes.....

......I forget just how far away I am (besides geographically).

Watch the video. Love the part at the end where the "Reverend" goes off at the mic.

Toss 'em out in a manger if you're locking the doors to the Inn.......

Merry Christmas.

-E-

Random Tuesday Afternoon Rantings........

• I was afraid of this....I had done the last edition of "Special Place in Hell" a while ago and was hoping I wouldn't have to do it again, but alas, we have Frat Boys From Hell!!!! These are the sorts of assholes who probably tortured animals in the early years of their lives! Please......no "Community Service" sentence serving out meals at a homeless shelter for these skumbags! Naw, two to five years of Pound-Me-In-The-Ass-Prison* is just the right rehabilitation!

• My People have come up with a new state slogan: "Visit Oregon - Far superior to the Witness Protection Program"
  
  
  
• It's amazing how you learn to appreciate thee most basic shit, like electricity.....especially when you have two blackouts (lasting roughly half-a-day each) within a 48-hour time frame (one from Thursday Night's psycho windstorm, the other Saturday Night from a mammoth explosion at a power station in Beaverton that pretty much took out juice to all of PDX's Western suburbs).

• Although, given how far north Portland is geographically (always amusing riding my skooter to work at 8am in sheer pitch blackness), and also how little sunlight we receive between 8am and 4pm during mist/fog/drizzle season (our version of "winter"), you'd generally have no clue that the power was out......

• Only way I discovered that we had a blackout Saturday Night was when I went to my Local and the whole area around it was pitch black.....walked up to the door, found it open, and saw people huddled around the bar, which was illuminated by several candles. I loved it....makes you wish the power went out more often.....

Vould you like to touch my monkey?

• Oh....yeah......almost forgot: this week's pain! Actually, THIS was quite easy! We only did four each! Being concerned with two major power outages and a weekend full of holiday parties, all before Sunday kickoffs.......I really didn't give it much thought......and, apparently, neither did Bobo!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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2 correct out of 4 games picked = fiddy% correct!

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3 correct out of 4 games picked = 75% correct!

I win! Yay! But, I mean, it's not like EITHER Bobo or I have taken the Lottery that bring much benefit for the glorious State of Oregon for a single goddamm penny once this year!

Naw......hafta hit FOUR for FOUR to do THAT !!!

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• New Year's Resolutions??? To drink more and smoke more! Fuck all the rest a ya.......

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Gonna be outta town for a bit....and the laptop is staying home!!! I'll try to pop something on here before the new year!!

Avoid the infinite nutsmacker...

-E-

*Michael Bolton - Office Space

Yeaaaaaaahh.......thaaaat'd be greeeeaaaat.........

......time waster at work to make your job more tolerable (bonus points if your boss actually speaks in this manner!!!)

-E-

The video for MULTIPLIER NO!! has been released.......

.......wasn't quite my vision of what I thought it'd look like, but still, it came out allright!

-E-

Because it IS the Holiday Season......

....thought I'd share this with you again. Can't remember whom, but somebody I used to know E-mailed this to me a looooong time ago....and it displays what happend when the holidays get outta hand!

This was on my most recent blog ("Roughly the 16,740,473rd blog on the net.......") before they shut it down (I am probably gonna repost the 16,740,473rd in it's entirety sometime in the next few months like I keep promising to, but I just get lazy and put it off......).

Exercise restraint this winter!! Otherwise, the Infinite Nutsmacker awaits you.....and I have been there maybe twice in my life....trust me: The Infinite Nutsmacker is NOT where you EVER want to end up!

So behave this Christimas, New Years, Hannikah, Kwanzza......

1 star hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which has given you a whole lot of misplaced energy.. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. You are craving a steak sub and a side of gravy fries.


2 star hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a fruity pancake from IHOP. There is some definite havoc being wrecked upon your bowels.

3 star hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd you at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball sub watching the Moto GP. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 Iced Teas and a diet coke yet you haven't peed once. You decide the Havana Omelet you are going to leave in the bathroom is better done on another floor, so you don't have to walk by and smell it the rest of the day.

4 star hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject perpetual spasm, and the first of about 5 shits you take during the day makes the eyes water of everyone who enters the bathroom.

5 star hangover,(*****) aka "Dante's 4th Circle of Hell."
You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. Death seems pretty good right now. You definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank, and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed at your otherwise empty house. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol scented fluid with a 'floater' thrown in.. The sole purpose of this 'floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass.

6 star hangover (******) otherwise known as the "Infinite Nutsmacker"
You wake up on your bathroom floor. For about 2 seconds you look at the ceiling, wondering if the cool refreshing feeling on your cheek is the bathroom tile, or your vomit from 3 hours ago. It is amazing how your roommate was as drunk as you, but somehow managed to get up before you; shower and already leave for work. You try to lift your head. Not an option. Then you inadvertently turn your head too quickly and smell the funk of 13 packs of cigarettes in your hair. Suddenly you realize you were smoking, but not ultra lights...some jackass handed you Marlboro reds, and you smoked them like it was your second full time job. You look in the mirror only to see remnants of the stamp "Ready to Rock" clearly on your cheek.......the stamp on the back of your hand has appeared on your face by what is known as 'Jagermeister magic.' You have to be to work in t-minus 14 minutes and 32 seconds and the only thing you can think of wearing is your "hello kitty" pajamas and your slippers. Any attempt at emptying your bowels results in a gag inducing ass spray which you are positive has the ability to etch porcelain. The only thing that sounds worse than remaining on the foul stench throne is leaving before you're finished; which could take 5 minutes or an hour and a half.

Why?

......just why?


















10 out of 24 is good for 41%

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7 out of 24 is good for 29%

Someday, we'll BOTH, man and monkey, make pro football picks that are correct ABOVE a 50% average!!

-E-

Random Sunday Night Blatherings.....

• Bills barely lost to a San Diego team that appeared to be rather over-hyped!! Besides LaDainian Thomlinson, I really didn't see anything about that team that just blew me away.....

• NFL officiating is horseshit! If one blatant pass-interference penalty flagged (instead of ignored, which it was)....the Bills win this match and are right in the thick of the AFC Wild Card race!

• First weekend on the slopes in a coupla years.....man, ya gotta love going skiing in Oregon: No "villages" with pretentious affluent wankshafts walking about window-shopping and gawking at antiques that were assembled in China ten minutes ago. Naw....a good number of reasonably priced, mom-n-pop ski areas....and even the larger resort areas here (like Mt. Bachelor and Timberline) aren't priced totally outta hand! Damm....can't believe I haven't gone skiing in Oregon sooner!!

• Now, I am not a big fan of Young Urban Professionals moving into da hood and displacing people, and I pretty much despise fur as a fashion accessory (but I'm NOT militant about it), but are graffiti and crazy glue in locks and harassing customers of a legally-operating (albeit repugnant) business the best way to go about resolving issues? But, then again, extreme actions, love 'em or hate 'em, at least bring attention to these issues, issues that people otherwise hope will magically go away on their own. Yeah, North Portland actually has a fascinating African-American history.....but now blacks are being economically barred from residing in the neighbourhood where it was the only place in the entire city where African-Americans were allowed to reside between 1930 up to almost 1969. I mean, people squirm and become uncomfortable about it (gentrification) whenever it's brought up in conversation (especially Caucasians who have moved to North Portland in the past four years), but when it DOES get brought up, the subject quickly gets changed!! It IS THEE Elephant in the room.

My point being that love 'em or hate them, ya gotta give kudos to Portland's more militant Lefties in the respect that, violently or non-violently, they ACTUALLY ACT upon their beliefs and values (as opposed to several cities that are veeerrry faux-lefty, where people do go "tsch-tsch" about things like gentrification in coffee shops whilst drinking their $6.00 latte-mocha-espresso-cappuccino-or-what-ever-the-fuck-they're-called, but actually DO very little to change things like that)!
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• Speaking of which: This Blog offers it's congratulations to President Chavez on his landslide re-election! Hugo, you is our last beacon of hope against right-wing/corporate terrorism in the Western Hemisphere! BUY CITGO GAS!!!!

• The video for Multiplier NO! has finished shooting........in the editing room now....release party sometime in the next few days.....

-E-