Random Thursday Night Observations....

- I have nooooo guess as to where they got this idea from.....?

But whoever edits PDXguide.com's local Portland page should really open up his or her ears....which is unusual, because The Trib's actually a really decent paper...

When The Red Tube line made its inaugural run out to PDX Airport on September 10th, 2001, there was much fanfare about just how Cascades Station development was literally going to be the stuff of legends!! Shit, the Cascades were supposed to bring much excitement, revenue and renown to NorthEast Portland, and along the way, it was supposed to cure AIDS, World Hunger, and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict!!

Five and a half years after the first tube passed thru it, The Cascades is nothing but a vacant Goddamm FIELD!!!! I KNOW this because everytime I take the Red Tube to PDX to fly out, it always stops for one minute at The Cascades station!! Nothing is said on the PA System about it....it's kinda weird: Like, passengers maybe are supposed to offer up one minute of silence in honour of broken dreams of developers???

And how ANYBODY could be against IKEA going there is beyond me....

Now, I've not been to an IKEA in all my life, but I hear organised groups of Portlanders routienly travel the 180 miles to Seattle to go shop at their IKEA!! And with their lefty outlook (Social Responsibility Manager?? HOW MANY companies have one of THOSE???) and with the other perks they give to their employees, how can one NOT help but to welcome them in to NE PDX?

Shit!! Do you prefer NOTHING there at all?? The person mentioned in the piece who wrote to the Portland IndyMedia blog bashing IKEA has no clue and WHY The Trib even quoted her is suspect in itself! Why do I suggest that she has no clue??

As one poster named "Marleen" phrased it on Portland's Indymedia Web site: "Why is Portland simultaneously cheering IKEA and booing Wal-Mart? How Does Portland Spell Hypocrite? I K E A."

You're comparing IKEA to WAL-MART?? Are you serious?? You're kidding....right?? IKEA doesn't try to brainwash its employees, doesn't try to bust unions, doesn't hire bunches of bunches of illegal immigrants to clean their stores, doesn't actively SPY on their employees, and etc. etc. etc. etc. Jesus Christ....I cringe and shudder whenever I remember that I indeed used to shop at Wal-Mart.....

"Who cares if they shave off a bigger sliver of the spoils for their employees," she wrote of Ikea. "IKEA is a suburban car-culture oriented business that just happens to appeal to the condo-set."

"Who cares if they shave off a bigger sliver of the spoils for their employees"? Well, shit!! I DO, for one. Fiscally.....the more money a local employee makes, the more THEY are likely to turn around and spend it at LOCAL merchants, who then (the local merchants) will hire local contractors, repair personnel, etc. etc.!! Friends, in Keynesian terms, it's called "The Money Multiplier Effect", and to say a large store who just popped its latest retail outlet DIRECTLY NEXT TO a tube station is a "suburban car-culture oriented business" really perplexes me! I would much rather see an IKEA there than a Best Buy or a Mega-Lo-Mart (Wal-Mart)......and I'd certainly rather see an IKEA there as opposed to the vast, empty wasteland The Cascades Development has been the past five-and-a-half years!!

And, sorry, Melissa.....but a mom-n-pop clothing store is NOT going to rip up stakes from Hawthorne and relocate to The Cascades Development.....sorry, maybe in YOUR world they do, but not in the real world.....so take whatever we can get......and SO FAR, we got an IKEA!! I'd say: Impressive start!!


The sign I can KINDA see, because I hate large signs (cause landscape pollution) and IKEA's got a HUUUUGGGE undeground following. Come on, if people want it as badly as they say they do, they WILL find it, sign or no sign!!

I join many, many associates, friends and acquaintances in this statement: WELCOME TO PORTLAND, IKEA!

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HURRY.....read this quik......

.....because in less than 8 days, The Buffalo News will take this down and start charging for you to read it.

Holy sheeeiiite! Do you really expect us to actually fall for that rubbish, Byron? This is just one of the funniest stories I'd heard in a while......seriously, I thought that it was The Onion online......

But Byron's right! FIRST RULE of apprehending a "car thief"!!! ASSUME:

• .......that the thief WILL drive the stolen vehicle around in the vicinity of your house and that he will attempt to return it to you around 7AM the next morning!! Perhaps later if there's been an accident or two.

• .....that the "thief" will also have a key made to especially fit your car or SUV......because this way, he won't actually have to smash out a window and then pop off the steering column to start your SUV........but Mr. Thief will leave it parked within a four minute walk of your residence the next morning! Common Auto Theft tactic....show courtesy to the victim by making them have to walk only five minutes or less to recover their car!!

• DO NOT expect the thief to take an air-bag equipped 2005 or newer model car to a chop-shop! This would actually generate the thief revenue and he'd much rather return it to the rightful owners!

• Finally, ALWAYS get caught on camera walking TOWARDS the victim's house where you stole the vehicle! This is always a good idea.....

Naw, I swear.....this HAS GOT to be taken from The Onion.....this is too strange to believe.....

I'm in town this weekend......I'll blather at you all on Sunday!

-E-