WTF??????????




NO Internet install at my new digs available until NEXT SATURDAY the 7th?????


Well...........see ya in a week or so.....




















-E-

Obviously, the people who ranked this.......

.....don't have to drive here on a daily basis!

Thanx to an astute Seattle reader for passing this on to me.......

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And the results for this past week's NFL matchups:











10 out of 20, 50%, no 4-hit cards!!

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8 out of 20, 40%, no 4-hit cards!!


Next Sunday, the epic struggle of Man vs. Monkey for gamblin' dominance continues.....

Sorry if I won't be around for a while.....I'm right in the middle of moving! ALWAYS a fun, pleasant experience.

Although this move, I'm far from homeless and far from penniless (as I was both of those on my last move from Denver to Portlandia in July 2006), so for that, and many people I am honoured to call "friend", I am thankful and grateful.........

....but it (moving) is STILL a total headache!!


See ya in a week......

-E-

Today's Sports Action Betting Quote:

"I'm generally opposed to betting on teams that suck"

-The Toth-

Man vs. Monkey.....

Last week on Sports Action (see below), I played 16 picks on FOUR cards (four per card) and Bobo played two ten-pick cards and one 12-pick card.....so we both played sixteen picks total! But the number of picks per card I played vs. the number of picks per card Bobo played skewed things, so......

I mean, it IS a lot easier (obviously) to nail 4 out of 4 than it is to nail 10 out of 10 (thought Bobo is THEE only one in my household to accomplish this ten-for-ten feat!) because for hitting nine out of ten or three outta four, you win Nada, Zippo, Zilch, Zero!


OK, so to make the statistics more even-handed, for this weeks football picks, I, after excessive thought, consternation, and brilliant analysis, played five 4-pick cards for 20 total picks. After waking him up inside the Lottery Terminal, Bobo randomly slapped five 4-pick cards for a total of 20 picks!

NOW, whoever gets more correct picks outta 20 wins!!

BUT, BUT.....as a bonus, if either Bobo or myself DOES HIT four-out-of-four on one card, they are rewarded with an extra credit of four extra wins (so a four-for-four card where all four are hit gives credit for EIGHT, not just four, correct picks)........

....we'll see what happens.....



GO BILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Now, if several members of the World's foremost ultra-secret spy agency are refusing to follow Dub-ya's orders.....what does THIS say about the idiots who voted for him and the morons who drive around with their "Bush/Cheney '04" bumper stickers on the backs of their SUV's

I mean, and what's up with this bullshit that the Bush Administration voluntarily dropped this program??? Come on!! They COULDN'T GET ENOUGH AGENTS WILLING TO....ahhhh...."staff" THESE PLACES!!!!




















Just sad. I'd say that this is funny, but it's not.....it's just sad!


-E-

Random Tuesday Night Observations.....

• Ernie -v- Bobo

Again, this year, to see just HOW badly I can't pick point spreads on NFL games in Oregon's State-run NFL betting game, Sports Action, I go head-to-head against Bobo to see just how poorly I do at this exercise in futility....

For those of you who are wondering who Bobo is, it is the little trained monkey that is hidden inside the lottery terminal that takes your betting slips and is woken up when the betting player selects the "Quick Pick" option (and you thought all along that a microprocessor randomly picked your numbers)......

Bobo did hit ten games out of ten games last year on one card for me, paying, like, $1700 on a $2 bet. So, being a big fan of both, monkeys and rainforests, I promptly donated $170 to keep Bobo's habitat intact......













Right. So, in any respect, I picked 16 games this week with much consternation and thought, whilst Bobo picked his 32 games. OK....here's how the percentages came out:

- Ernie - 8 of 16 for 50%

- Bobo - 16 of 32 for 50%

....I'll keep you posted on the results for this week, unless Bobo replaces Mike Mularky as Miami's Offensive coordinator.....

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• .....Christ, I am soooooooo in the wrong line of work.

Went to Washington State's Long Beach Peninsula this past weekend. As stated on a previous post, our party was scheduled to stay in some sort of Bohemian 50's RV thingy.....

.....wow. Just wow....

I mean, it was amazing! Hundred-fiddy a night for people of some slight semblance of affluence to be able to preview where they will end up living when their 401k totally tanks!! But this is to experience it WITHOUT the little real-world goodies such as tornadoes, wife-beater tanks tops, Miller High Life cans strewn about, meth labs, domestic violence, mullets and abundance of Chevy Camaros in various states of disrepair lying around!

Man, what a great racket! That Limey that owns the place must really be coining it in........shit, one-fiddy a night??? Thass half-a-month's rent at a real trailer park!!

I mean, I had fun and wasn't upset about it at all....I was just enraged at myself for not coming up with that idea first!!

But man, you HAVE GOT to see pictures of this place. Coming up in about four days on the pics page.





















Now, though, a couple pics from the narrow gauge railroad at Cripple Creek, Colorado, on the picture page.

-E-

Well....what had been.....

......scheduled at my favourite little motel on The Ocean as a beer drinking weekend on the beach to celebrate my housemate's birfday, had been demolished by this construction crew (who will rent, like, all six rooms at the motel for two weeks at a time) as they bumped us out of our reservation because they're unexpectedly staying longer this time.

Jeff and Maureen (motel owners and great folks whom I've kinda gotten to know) instead gave me a free room totally on the cuff for a future night for my inconvenience.

Typical Oregon......

So, instead, my other housemate talked us into staying at this weird place owned by Limeys on Washington State's Long Beach Peninsula. Even though those bastards have a smoking ban in bars (The bastards of Washington State, NOT The Limeys), this place we are staying at just sounded too weird......I mean, read the quotes at the bottom of the page!!

Plus, they booked us some sort of accommodations called "The African Queen"!!

Apparently, what this is is a 1950's MEGA-SIZED Recreational Vehicle that, to quote what one of the Limeys told us over the telephone: "You've not stayed anywhere like this before....."

Errmm.......OK.......

I agreed based on the condition that we go horseback riding on the beach......everyone in my party reluctantly agreed.....

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More on Tuesday with pics!!

-E-

Tuesday Night Random Rants......

• HATE negotiating and bitching and all the irritants dealing with getting a new apartment!! The entire process just rubs me the wrong way as it is, but the topper is the pet deposit/pet fee. Now, WHAT the fuck is this?? It is well known that children under the age of, oooh......say, ten cause far more damage than two cats will!!!!! And a fair number (NOT all....not even MOST, but a fair number) or parent or parents figure "Shit....I pay rent, I don't own the place and thus have no vested interest in whether my kid takes permanent magic marker to the walls!!" But try, as a property management corporation, tagging a damage deposit on somebody's children! And people STILL get tax credits for HAVING them!!! WHAT is up with that?? IF ANYTHING.....childless individuals should get their security deposit automatically sliced in half!! I mean, I'm not against young'uns or anything (during a weak moment, I almost would not have minded too badly having one myself.......then Wal-Mart announced that the sale was over and they went back to full-price)......but this shit's ridiculous!!

• Interesting when people who just came to America from all over the world come into my office and ask questions about Land Use. They're really cool and great and appreciative folks, but it's just weird as to once after I explain the procedure to them for Land Use, then they ask me, like, "I just get occupant(cy) permit from you building bureau. I now move into my shop and set up. Can you please turn on power for me?" or "My car get hit, I give insurance information to other driver, and other driver he give me his. I hear nothing yet. Could you tell me status of this, please?"

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.....man, talk about CENTRALISED government wherever they came from.

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• Had a few E-mails (very few people actually publicly comment anymore after my ex-boo's family and her two friends started making threats to me and anybody who commented on my last blog, the 16,740,473rd, so they just E-mail me) asking me about the origins of Multiplier No

Award-winning composer The Toth and I stopped at a nearby public house (something we have been known to do once every great while) and, on one of the television monitors at this establishment, there appeared to be a wagering game involving number-selection of some sort. After a couple pitchers of flavoured soda with which we slaked out thirsts, we had decided to partake in this wager. The Toth made his usual puckish remarks and something he said made me inadvertently blurt out "That would be a capitol title for a song, dear chap!"

I cannot remember what it was he said (could be something along the lines of "I wish Republicans would just do something that didn't suck for once" or "I like all beer" or something of that sort....it was a typical Toth-ism), but it struck me as brilliant!

The Toth then responded ".....and your point, Good Sir? Song titling is merely an arbitrary exercise, much like how these numbers on that television monitor are selected every five minutes in Salem, our fair Capital. Why, almost anything can make for an exquisite song title....."

And, as he looked at the betting card that the Publician handed to him, he insisted, "Why, even this text here.....on this piece of wagering slip......'Multiplier - No'......... would make an ideal title for a rhapsody!"

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And so, we went back to our citadel and laid down the track and recorded it!

Thus it was born...........

-E-

Just a coupla thoughts on sports.....

• WHY is Mike Gandy in the NFL? As an offensive lineman, this guy couldn't protect a quarterback if he had a fortress, a moat and an AK-47! He was responsible for two of the sacks of J.P. Losman.......including the one that cost the Bills the game!

• I'm NOT worried, though......it took Marv Levy three years to get The Bills from 4-12 to the AFC Championship game between 1985 and 1988. I think this is more of a testing/rebuilding year and I expect that by 2009, we'll be back in the postseason!

• Craig Nall should be in front of Kelly Holcomb on the depth chart.

• STILL can't pick football games if my life depended on it for Sports Action.

• DESPITE winning four games over the mighty Washington Gnats, it looks like The Colorado Rockies aren't playing in the post-season this year as either Los Angeles and/or San Diego will advance to represent the National League Western Division in the playoffs. The Rockies, meanwhile, will advance to The Dance of the Three Snakes.

-E-

Strange......

• Weird. At altitude, for several years whilst residing there, I never had any issues or symptoms or anything. Now, during this recent trip to the high country of Colorado, I got shortness of breath, headaches and all sorts of shit like that........wonder if too many traumatic incidents during my seven-year tenure in Denver really made me despise literally almost everything about the place, and thus, killed my immunity to altitude? I think the Seneca perspective on health including mental and spiritual comfort in a place really does prove to be part of a holistic approach to physical well-being......

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• FINALLY put out a tune that DOESN'T suck (unlike "unbalanced load" - released April 2006....roundly critised by the music press) thanks to award-winning* composer The Toth for the tune, and thanks to our Local for the drunken inspiration, I now give you, Ladies and Gentlemen, fans of the 18,472,054th, the North American release of......

Multiplier NO!

* I don't know exactly what award he was given for his musical acumen, but I'll make one up if I have to!

-E-

You know, it's sometimes strange when life imitates cinema......


RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD
BUCKY: SECOND BLOOD


And does this not remind you of the scene where Lt. Frank Drebin goes to the bathroom during the press conference in Naked Gun?

-E-