Right then.....and since we're on the subject of disclaimers......

I mean, yeah, OK...it IS kinda skummy to suggest that people get paid for churning out shit about various products in their personal blogs and that, once you "....get your content approved....", then the cheque's in the post.....but still, at least they DID offer a website showing you how to generate your own disclaimer, as I have done below for Roughly the 18,472,054 blog on the 'Net.....


This policy is valid from 29 January 2007

This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me. For questions about this blog, please contact E (Esaracki@hotmail.com).

This blog does not accept any form of advertising, sponsorship, or paid insertions. We write for our own purposes. However, we may be influenced by our background, occupation, religion, political affiliation or experience.

The owner(s) of this blog will never receive compensation in any way from this blog.

The owner(s) of this blog is not compensated to provide opinion on products, services, websites and various other topics. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog owners. If we claim or appear to be experts on a certain topic or product or service area, we will only endorse products or services that we believe, based on our expertise, are worthy of such endorsement. Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider.

This blog does not contain any content which might present a conflict of interest.


Disclaiming any knowledge....

-E-

Bee-yotch.....PUL-EEEEZE!

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• Just reading how, now that she's running for president, Hilary Clinton is being pressured to explain her vote authorising Bush to invade Iraq!

WTF????

WHY.....WHY was she (and the other chicken-shit democrats like John Kerry, John "PlayStation3" Edwards, Diane Feinstein, Chuck Schumer and several other ChickenCrats) not pressured publicly in the media THEN, at THAT time....in 2002.....to explain their yes votes to authorise the invasion of Iraq???

And today, HOW do these people dare have the nerve to say "Well....yeah, I did vote for sending troops into Iraq in 2002....but it was that goddamm Dubya who screwed everything up! Yeah....it's all HIS fault! Yeah....me?? Naw, I just voted to put the ball in his court......BUSH screwed it up, NOT me!! Naw-uh...I'M not to blame!"

And I wonder if the Republicans hadn't lost the House and Senate in November, and let's say they were still in complete power, do you think they'd be jumping ship from the U.S.S. Dubya and joining the ChickenCrats in opposing the war in the numbers they are now??

That's how Americans like to play the game.....ALWAYS make sure you're playing for the side that happens to be in the lead at the moment! Like how Italy was fighting for whichever side was winning at the time in World War II, our brave and hearty "do the right thing" US Senators always vote with their conscious.......even if their stand on an issue is unpopular.....right? Right.....?

And Barack Obama is capitalising on this by saying things like how indeed he was against the Iraq war then, but he wasn't in the Senate at the time to vote against it. Thereby implying that that's what separates him from his opponents in this race......

PUL-EEEEZE!! Could you possibly be a little more opportunistic!

But I hear ya, Barack! I mean, I was very opposed to the Titanic sinking......uhhhh....but, at the time, I was on a different ship and I wasn't there to be able to do anything about it.......but dammit, I sure did speak in opposition to it at that time!

WHY aren't ANY voices of true foresight and integrity (like....uhhhh.....Russ Feingold comes to mind instantly.....Barbara Boxer is another.....Oregon's own Ron Wyden yet a third) running in these primaries?? The ONLY one I see with ANY balls what so ever in this early stage of the race is Kucinich.

And scary boogeyman Tom Tancredo is running! Cool....just when I had thought things were getting staid and humourless......

And the rest of the world wonders why our elections are so fucked up.....Jesus.....

Jesus Christ, Google.....

• ....leave my blog ALONE!!!!!

I was very happy with the way things were (as I generally despise change in my life), and thus had refused Google's numerous attempts to coax me into switching to their "new and improved" updated blogger format (which, also, apparently, also requires you to sign up for some sort of Google account or some shit like that). I guess they're now out of Beta, so I think they want us to throw a party for 'em.....or something.....

Life was good, I was happy.......cool.....fine.

NOW, they are forcing people to update! I mean, I guess I shouldn't bitch, I mean, I'm NOT paying for them to host me or anything, but still.....I liked things the way they were.....

I mean, yeah, it IS free to use, but also please be advised that am I not getting anything from this....which segues very nicely to our next topic......

Weird things I never knew about blogs!

• a.k.a. - Wow.....they really have people who do THAT??

....well, yes, apparently, they do.

Swear....I musta been under a rock for quite a long while, but when I discovered the practise of these two things.....I was gobsmacked!

First scary thing......

They actually PAY CASH for people to blog shit! I mean, yeah, I knew that people allowed their webhost provider to pop adverts on their blog site in return for money (something you'll never see here).....but there was something a lot more shocking and sinister that I had discovered.....

Corporation X can pay you a few bucks PER POST for, say, everytime you mention (in a positive light,of course). Corporation X's brand new product, the widget! As in:

January 29th, 2007

I was at my store when I saw Corporation X's new product, the widget....and I thought I'd give it a try.

Man, let me tell you, it works!! This is just I needed for all of my widgeting needs..........

I mean, there really goes my faith in humanity down the toilet! What some people will do forra buck......Jesus.....

You WILL NEVER have that here in this blog, you have my word for it! The only people I might pitch for is my brand of smokes and for Adbusters magazine, and they both ain't paying me a goddamm thing....and that's just the way I like it!

Second scary thing....

I was at a pub Saturday Night and talking with an individual at the bar who works for a software manufacturer in their web-design department. I mentioned about what I just told you above (unscrupulous people blathering praise for a company's product in their blog posts in exchange for cash payouts) and how that really troubled me!

This individual told me how he has a friend that works for a company that sub-contracts for major corporations by hiring people (at a pretty decent wage, as well) to go out there and look at all possible blogs on the Internet through a number of different searching techniques (Google, Technorati, and a few ingenious methods in addition to the usual suspects), and write a brief statement on how your company's name was mentioned and in what context it was used in whatever blog they find it in!

Again, my jaw hit the floor and I asked the gentleman about this: "So, wait! On MY blog, let's say I type in and post quote 'I had a friend who bought the Corporation X widget and I went over to her house and tried it and she let me borrow it for a week and......' and then Corporation X will actually look at my fucking blog???" I asked the gentleman as the colour drained from my face.....

"You got it...." he replied!

Jesus......just too weird.

He told me that they could even be tracked to prove this!! He said to prop up a fake blog and install tracking software on it and then mention products on that fake blog! And the report will say "Corporation X, San Jose, Calf. 10:42am, Tuesday February 6th, 2007"

OK, now, I haven't tried tracking software since an ex-girlfriend was stalking and harassing me a while ago, and I forgot which tracking program I used at that time....so I'll go dig one up off of the web.

But, I think I'm gonna try this experiment this guy told me about....I'm really curious to see if this is true....

So here we go! It's the Corporation X Blog at http://xcorporationx.blogspot.com/

Feel free to look at it, but be advised that you'll be posted on the hit tracker log....just wanted to make sure you are aware of that! I'll let you know if any of The Corporations that I wrote numb, neutral statements about on this website are tracked as actually viewing the "Corporation X" website! Too weird.....

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Man, it's all just like an episode of Futurama....except it's all real.....

-E-

Brain surgery.......

Now, we don't need Ph.Ds in either Microbiology OR Chemistry to know the following:

• Thee most germ infested place in your household is the kitchen sink sponge (well....any sponge, for that matter.....nope, sorry Lysol Hyper-Mega virus, bacteria and immunity system killer disinfectant spray.....it's NOT doorknobs, phones, or the produce that somebody else in the supermarket handled before you did).

• Anything than can melt or combust easily from the inside-out generally should NOT be placed in a microwave. Silverware is reflective, therefore it and other metals should also not be put in a microwave! Rubber is a great example....thus, you generally know (I fucking HOPE you do, anyways) that putting rubber tennis sneakers into the dryer whilst the dryer is set on FULL BORE HOT will result in a less-than-optimal situation. Now, imagine the microwave oven being one hell of a dryer, and.........you see where I'm going......

Darwin called it Natural Selection.......here's probably thee best example of it I have seen in QUITE a while.....

BEST QUOTE (so far) of 2007:

"Just wanted you to know that your article on microwaving sponges and scrubbers aroused my interest. However, when I put my sponge/scrubber into the microwave, it caught fire, smoked up the house, ruined my microwave, and pissed me off!" one correspondent wrote in an e-mail to Reuters.









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So wait....this person was not too embarassed to E-Mail a HUGE media outlet and say they put a dry, foam rubber-esque DRY sponge in the nuker.....please tell me they made this up.....

And no....I did NOT steal that quote from Viz magazine's "Top Tips" section!

-E-

OK.....I was wrong again......

.....so not ALL of Washington State is sheer and utterly useless.

- I had been meaning for literally several years to take a trip to the Olympic Peninsula region in far Western Washington State! I heard the rainforests there were amazing. I'd seen pictures......I mean, I wanted to see stuff like the pic below!

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.(That's the Hoh Rain Forest pictured.....I just went to Lake Quinault last weekend [ THIS PIC by William Schmauss shows what Lake Quinault looks like in January]. The Hoh comes on my NEXT trip to the Peninsula)

Didn't think I'd find anything different from what I see when I go hiking in Portland's Forest Park, and certainly couldn't be as Geographically stunning as what I've seen hiking through British Columbia!

Soooo......I didn't bring my camera. Screw it. NOTHING can be as stunning as B.C.'s Coastal Rainforests.....why bother??

Wrong answer....

Faaaaar more beautiful rainforest than PDX's Forest Park, and just as stunning (I'd call it a tie) as the rainforests of British Columbia!

Went hiking, was awestruck by the vast swaths of trees literally blown down by a psychotic windstorm that happened a couple of weeks ago (the same storm that took my power out for 12 hrs. in Portland, and my friend's power out for seven days in Seattle).....but it was still beautiful.

The US Forest Service closed the trail after one mile (stating on the sign: "OFF LIMITS TO THE PUBLIC: Remainder of trail is IMPASSABLE!" - on the first mile, we literally had to climb over and under trees that were blocking the trail)....and I was tempted to tempt fate and ignore the sign (everyone has a different intreperation of the word "impassable"), but my hiking companions convinced me to think better of that idea.....

Ended the evening with 7 Deadly Zins, some waaaaaaaay good Sangiovese, London Broil, Export A Greens, and a fireplace.......that washed away the remnants and toxicity of a very negative ten days prior to this trip!

I'll be back on the Olympic Peninsula! NEXT TIME, I'll bring a camera!!!!!

WOW! I have TWO of the top ten hot jobs, according to MSNBC.com

- Still....my two dream jobs, beachcomber and BLM Rangeland Management Specialist, aren't up there.....

What the fuck ever happened to being what you WANT to be instead of going for whatever career is in demand?? Innut that what we were taught as kids?

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- Indulged in a Hookah Bong yesterday evening whilst dining at a Middle Eastern Restaurant......quite nice, actually, but I'll still take the Greens anyday!

....and what ever happened to.....

- .......... one of my favourite columnists in The Buffalo News, one Mary Kunz Goldman? She hasn't been published for a while now, and this literate guy named Bruce Andriatch, appeared out of nowhere and is now getting more and more ink writing about issues concerning Western New York.

Hmmm..........

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And, finally, a nod to the telemarketer.....

- Echostar in Littleton.....probably the only job this poor bastard could get on The Front Range! Assuming he could get there thru the snow.....

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I'm not going anywhere forra while.....this will be updated very soon.....including a SUPER-BIG-GAME (can't use what it's commonly known as - that term's trademarked) Ernie-and-Bobo edition of Sports Action! Thee very last one before The State of Oregon pulls the plug on it......

-E-

And, on the weekend where we celebrated the birth of a great civil rights hero......

....we git this shit.

This was brought to me by a reader who E-Mailed me this piece (the Portland Tribune is such a better paper than the Boregonian.....which, surprise surprise, conveniently forgot to publish this bit of interesting goings-on in our fair city) and this reader of the 18,472,054th blog (Wow! THAT now makes three that I know of) was upset that The Very Reverend Jesse, The Very Imam Lewis, and The Very Corpulent Al did not descend upon my fair city and decry this blatant act of racism with a protest march or march-protest, or a protest in March, or some shit like that.......














My thoughts? Racism is racism....no matter WHO it's perpetrated against. If somebody is singled out for violence, harassment, intimidation, discrimination, etc. because of their race.......well.......well....it IS racism. It really doesn't matter that the victim in this case is not a minority......it's still a racist attack and thus, should fall under the hate crimes statute.

Four white girls beating up one black girl? Same thing should happen to them (prosecution under the Oregon Hate Crimes Statute - O.R.S. 166.155 and 166.165), if they are actually stupid enough to tell police that, yeah, we wanted to beat up a black girl today and rob her!

But it goes both ways......let's not forget that!

-E-

Well.....so much for......


.....riding my skooter on a regular basis in the middle of January.

- JUST get back into town at like 2AM, die for a few hours, and decide to pop into work. The AM radio wakes me and they talk about how ".....The Sunset's a mess right now, and the 217 isn't any better....." and I find the will to crawl out of bed after three hours of sleep and go to my window.....

Jesus....it's snowing.

Now, in Portlandia, it'll snow MAYBE once a year (IF that), it'll melt as soon as it hits the ground, it'll have Oregon drivers suffering incontinence out of shear fear, and it gives the news people an excuse to Drop the Dead Donkey and blow 26 minutes of the 30 minute newscast on coverage of a snowfall that dropped a grand total of 1/4 of an inch accumulation.....it's just too funny!

Well, not THIS time.

This time, it dropped, like, five inches in The Hills of Cedar (where I reside), and about four in Portlandia proper. And all hell broke loose.....accidents were all over, people were screaming about how the public works division wasn't plowing the streets quickly enough (EXCUSE ME!!!!! This shit happens to us MAYBE once every ten to fifteen years in the Willamette Valley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY, in light of the fact that it almost literally never snows here, would the public works division have a fleet of snowplows at the ready on a moment's notice?? Christ on a bike, shut up, would you people? I mean, just grab a six-pack, quit crying and.....oh forget it.....), and I just laffed at it all......

.....and of course, at about 4PM, the sun went down and everything, snow and water, on the streets, started to totally freeze!

.....and of course, This Blog resides in an apartment complex with (literally) a 12% grade on a 120 foot incline/decline in it's roadway network (could you please explain to me WHY do I live ON the Hills again?)....and, uhhhh......uhhh....no snow chains (see? Most Oregonians actually HAD and were USING chains! Me?? Uhhh.......)

......so after work, I go park my car about fifty feet away from where my usual parking spot is (because my Peter Garrett-style tires just weren't equal to the task posed by the aforementioned snow-and-ice covered incline/decline) and I just laff and pray that I didn't fry my tranny trying to git up the incline to my usual assigned parking spot.......

I can factually state that there is more snow on the ground in Portlandia than in Buffalo!

Pic from The Ranch this morning (my former residence):














Um-hum....and we're supposed to get an ice storm here Thursday Morning........

.....cute....






- SAW the strangest thing at work today. I was looking over a new map our GIS division produced that displayed officially recognised neighbourhoods as well as any and all schools. Cool.....

THEN, I look at the Nike World Headquarters (not actually IN my fair city of Beaverton, but rather in "Unincorporated Washington County") on the map, and in it is a school designating symbol (a tiny square with a tiny pennant flying on top). Next to the symbol, it states "Joe Paterno Child Development Center."

At FIRST, I thought it was a cute joke one of our cartographers must have played, wondering if anybody would catch it (you know....kinda like "Vince Lombardi High School" in that 1979 Ramones classic flick Rock and Roll High School (Starring P.J. Soles and Ron Howard's "Johnny Drama"-like brother, Clint Howard).

But no!! I checked it on Planet Zowie, and lo and behold, there REALLY IS such a thing! I mean, no, don't get me wrong, please, this is NO knock against Mr. Paterno, but for some reason, I was not aware that his name was synonymous with such names in the child development genre as Pauline Sears, Dr. Norman Wetzel and Fred (that's "Mister" to you) Rodgers!

And if he IS renowned in child development circles, WHAT EXACTLY does THAT say about the football players at Penn State that were under his tutelage?

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If the weather cooperates, I'm back on The Road again this weekend and This Blog will return next week.....if it stays fugly outside, I'll post something sooner!

-E-

Still more snow in Denver, blew the pub quiz tonight from not knowing exactly WHEN the Autobahn was first built, and read over an antique covenant at work for a case file that's about to fall into my lap (when it's NOT a clusterfuck, then it "lands on my desk").

This covenant, from 1934, states the following (and this is read and quoted verbatim):

• "No person of any race, other than the Caucasian race, may occupy, or otherwise have use of, said tract, unless as a domestic servant of a Caucasian owner or lessee of said tract."

Errrmmm......

Taking a loooong weekend......back on The Road.

Blog resumes late next week....

-E-

P.S. - Got an E-Mail from somebody who actually reads this blog......this astute individual pointed out that apparently R.J. Reynolds ripped the concept for Camel "Snus" off of the Swedes. It has become quite popular there due to a smoking ban in bars over there.

Still.....if they ever institute a smoking ban in Oregon Pubs (NOT likely, due to large numbers of pubs [maybe 30% - 40%] where the OWNERS are prohibiting smoking [thus, giving ALL consumers a choice] and the fact that the State of Oregon has millions of dollars to lose by instituting a smoking ban in bars [from millions of dollars of lost Video Crack revenue - see .jpeg below]), I'm still not gonna try that snus shit.....just sounds too repulsive......

Random Sunday Night Ramblings........


Ewwww......

Interesting article in The BOregonian (a rare find in THAT paper). This stuff sounds gross. I mean, I love my Export A Greens, but I have noooo idea what this shit is, and nor do I have any intention of trying it! That sort of Red Man/Levi Strauss/Skoal/Copenhagen mouth-chew tobacco just totally grosses me out! Ewwwww........I think I'd rather lick an ashtray......

Wonder WHY they're test-marketing it in PDX? I mean, wouldn't this go better in, say, Colorado or any part of Texas OTHER than Austin??

I tried to find out about this stuff, but their website is tighter than Fort Knox (I mean you can easily get into ANY beer website by simply putting in a fake date of birth, but THIS???), so, JUST TO GET INTO THE WEBSITE solely for the purpose of finding out information, you have to fill out almost (no, I'm NOT exaggerating) a two-page application! So, after typing in a lot of fake information to get a password, I went back to the site and entered my "personal ID" number and my password (which was "Joecameltoe"), and it came back with "Apparently, there is a problem with your account. Please call 1-800-XXX-XXXX"

Maybe I shouldn't have put my name as "Dip Schitt - 1600 NW Pennsylvania Avenue NW - Washington DC - 20500" Hmmm......

Either that, or they intentionally withhold information on their website, so that you'll actually BUY this shit. I won't buy it....hell, I won't even take a free sample......just sounds too gross....

But, judging by the .jpeg below, it looks suspiciously similar to a tobacco product in tiny pouches called "Happy Days"....which is pretty gross!





























Saw a couple movies on DVD this weekend.......

.....one was really scary, one was really funny.

"Snakes on a Plane" was probably thee funniest flick I'd seen in a while. Rent it on DVD, and check out the music video....it's almost as good at the video for "Multiplier No"

However, one of the scariest things I had seen in a long time is a documentary called "Who Killed the Electric Car".....this movie was just the scariest shit, and it should be seen in every high school science class. It's absurd.....the car companies HAVE (and actually, HAD for a while) the technology to make an electric car that is practical. I would have never gotten one because I was always under the belief that these things go MAYBE 45 M.P.H. TOPS and they can go MAYBE 30 miles before having to be recharged. Wrong....they go as fast, if not faster than petrol cars, and can go up to 150 miles on a single charge-up.

WHY, then....WHY NOT?

Just a couple points:

- You have to see in the movie where they show under the hood of one of these things. There is literally almost ZERO maintenance!! You can perform routine maintenance on these things WITHOUT the need for D&L Hand Cleaner! Uhhh.....thus, NO replacement parts (air filtres, oil and oil filtres, etc. etc. etc.) for a dealership to sell and install at a 100% profit markup.

- It pays to stall the technology! Hydrogen is the next big facade/farce the major automakers are saying is "....just around the corner...."! It pays for the automakers to always have something that the technology for is "....just around the corner...." because the longer Big Auto delays developing PRACTICAL, FUNCTIONAL technology, the longer it allows them to stall in meeting both, Federal and state zero emission laws and standards. Hydrogen fuel cells right now, in reality, cost hundreds of thousands of dollars! It's really sickening stuff.....

TO BE FAIR, though....GM had one of their spin artists create a blog that rebuts the points that were made in the film.

So.....to be fair and equal: http://www.gm.com/company/onlygm/fastlane_Blog.html#EV1







The Saturn EV-1.....rest in peace!

The Weekly Sports Action Debacle.....














Bobo and I tied, each hitting 5 out of 8 on two 4-pick cards.....no four-for-four cards were hit.

-E-