Ran into my Job at work the other day......
"Hi E" my Job smiled and said cheerfully!
"Uuuuh.....yeeeeeaaaaah, so, Job, if you could just go ahead, and meet me in my office this afternoon around....oooooh......say three, that'd be grrreeeeeaaaaaaaat......Mmmm-Kay?" I asked it.
"Uhh.....sure......sure thing" replied my Job. "But I forgot.....I have a meeting with The Bobs at 3PM....."
"This really won't take long" I responded......
I thought to myself "Hmmm.....think that The Bobs have something here........it probably IS better to do this on a Friday......"
Three O'clock rolled by.....a knock on my door......
My Job stammered nervously: "Uuuh......y-y-you wanted to see me, E?"
"Yes....yes.....please, have a seat"
"Th-th-errmmm....thank you"
"Not a problem. Riiiiigggght.....well, Job.....we have had a few executive-level meetings.....and we have decided that we really need to make a few changes around here, and we felt......."
"W-w-whaaa kinda changes, like.....?"
"Well, Job, I have to lay it out on the table for you. Sadly.....weeeellll.......I really don't think that things have really been......aaaaaah......uuuuuh......a, uh, 'good fit' for you here, and we think it's mutually beneficial if we.....uuuuuh.....sorta parted ways mutually."
"What? What??" trembled my Job. "Whaaaa are you playing at? I really don't quite understand where this is going......."
"Well, Job" I continued to it, "uuuuh....yeeeeaaaaaaah.....well, uh, we're kinda requesting that you step down from your position as My Job, and that way, nobody loses face, and ......"
"Whaaaa? Huh? Whaaaaa.......???? I don't understand this at all? I'm lost. Whaaa? Of COURSE I'm not going to quit my employee. I like my employee......"
"Uhhh....yeah, Job. Uhhhh......sadly, it's not really a matter that's open for discussion. Actually, we feel it best this way when you resign. We, as an employee, would rather not terminate you, actually, and we feel that........."
My Job started to tremble slightly in the chair across from my desk, then started to sob softly......
"I don't understand! I have allowed you to play on my nice office machines for 8 hours a day. I provided you with a refrigerator. I have provided you with a place to spend time in between 8AM and 5PM. I think I really DO possess the potential to be promoted someday to career!!!"
It started to shake.....
"WHY are you doing this to me???" my Job demanded, through clenched teeth. I was beginning to feel intimidated, but I reeeeeaaalllly was hoping that this was NOT going to turn into once of those scene moments where my Job gets dragged out by security in front of all of the other jobs who still have their employee.......thank Christ I was able to calm it down!
"Right....right.....I understand, Job....this has got to be difficult for you! But things haven't really been working out with you the way we had anticipated.....I mean, the talk of respect in the Job place.....zero tolerance against bullying.....about how you tend to promote all of your employees internally. Remember that first interview, Job?"
"OK.....OK.....OK!!!!!!! OK.....so, I haven't quite lived up to my advertisement in the newspaper! But please, E.....give me another chance!!! I CAN put a stop to bullying in the workplace and I CAN work harder to promote from within! Please, E.....one more chance......??"
"Job....seriously. I'm sorry....I just really haven't seen much. Just a lot of unfilled promises, and disappointing results. And, sadly.....we have just decided that we're ready to move in a new direction...."
"NEW DIRECTION???" screamed Job. "What the FUCK kinda bullshit buzzword is that??"
Now now....let's all just try to relax here.....I mean, Job.....I'm NOT leaving you high and dry. I mean, we offer career counselling.....so, one day, maybe you WILL BECOME somebody's career. Plus - and you have my word on this - If you go to The State Department of Labour, I'm NOT going to make statements that will prevent you from getting unemployEE insurance. Plus, we'll give you a small severance, and also, we'll take you free of charge, to the employee fair at the Expo Centre, and we'll also..............."
"But", choked my Job, "I have a wife and three teenage job-lets at home? How am I going to feed them?? How am I going to pay for advertising for them when the time is right for then to have their first employee??"
Well, that's something you and your Human Resources conscious are going to have to work out together!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
And, sadly.....
In two weeks from today, I is gonna be hanging up THIS PARTICULAR web site for about four or five months.....until about August 20th, 2008.
I'll be out of the country for a few weeks, and then, upon my return, I'll be riding my skooter across the U.S.A. and maybe through a lot of Canada (IF our Yankee Green stops getting it arse kicked ten ways to Sunday on international currency markets!!!).
If you wanna put me up and let me crash on your floorspace forra night or two....let me know by May 1st!! I'd appreciate it!
I'll put the address of the road trip stories on this web page shortly (as soon as I can set one up)!!
-E-
"Hi E" my Job smiled and said cheerfully!
"Uuuuh.....yeeeeeaaaaah, so, Job, if you could just go ahead, and meet me in my office this afternoon around....oooooh......say three, that'd be grrreeeeeaaaaaaaat......Mmmm-Kay?" I asked it.
"Uhh.....sure......sure thing" replied my Job. "But I forgot.....I have a meeting with The Bobs at 3PM....."
"This really won't take long" I responded......
I thought to myself "Hmmm.....think that The Bobs have something here........it probably IS better to do this on a Friday......"
Three O'clock rolled by.....a knock on my door......
My Job stammered nervously: "Uuuh......y-y-you wanted to see me, E?"
"Yes....yes.....please, have a seat"
"Th-th-errmmm....thank you"
"Not a problem. Riiiiigggght.....well, Job.....we have had a few executive-level meetings.....and we have decided that we really need to make a few changes around here, and we felt......."
"W-w-whaaa kinda changes, like.....?"
"Well, Job, I have to lay it out on the table for you. Sadly.....weeeellll.......I really don't think that things have really been......aaaaaah......uuuuuh......a, uh, 'good fit' for you here, and we think it's mutually beneficial if we.....uuuuuh.....sorta parted ways mutually."
"What? What??" trembled my Job. "Whaaaa are you playing at? I really don't quite understand where this is going......."
"Well, Job" I continued to it, "uuuuh....yeeeeaaaaaaah.....well, uh, we're kinda requesting that you step down from your position as My Job, and that way, nobody loses face, and ......"
"Whaaaa? Huh? Whaaaaa.......???? I don't understand this at all? I'm lost. Whaaa? Of COURSE I'm not going to quit my employee. I like my employee......"
"Uhhh....yeah, Job. Uhhhh......sadly, it's not really a matter that's open for discussion. Actually, we feel it best this way when you resign. We, as an employee, would rather not terminate you, actually, and we feel that........."
My Job started to tremble slightly in the chair across from my desk, then started to sob softly......
"I don't understand! I have allowed you to play on my nice office machines for 8 hours a day. I provided you with a refrigerator. I have provided you with a place to spend time in between 8AM and 5PM. I think I really DO possess the potential to be promoted someday to career!!!"
It started to shake.....
"WHY are you doing this to me???" my Job demanded, through clenched teeth. I was beginning to feel intimidated, but I reeeeeaaalllly was hoping that this was NOT going to turn into once of those scene moments where my Job gets dragged out by security in front of all of the other jobs who still have their employee.......thank Christ I was able to calm it down!
"Right....right.....I understand, Job....this has got to be difficult for you! But things haven't really been working out with you the way we had anticipated.....I mean, the talk of respect in the Job place.....zero tolerance against bullying.....about how you tend to promote all of your employees internally. Remember that first interview, Job?"
"OK.....OK.....OK!!!!!!! OK.....so, I haven't quite lived up to my advertisement in the newspaper! But please, E.....give me another chance!!! I CAN put a stop to bullying in the workplace and I CAN work harder to promote from within! Please, E.....one more chance......??"
"Job....seriously. I'm sorry....I just really haven't seen much. Just a lot of unfilled promises, and disappointing results. And, sadly.....we have just decided that we're ready to move in a new direction...."
"NEW DIRECTION???" screamed Job. "What the FUCK kinda bullshit buzzword is that??"
Now now....let's all just try to relax here.....I mean, Job.....I'm NOT leaving you high and dry. I mean, we offer career counselling.....so, one day, maybe you WILL BECOME somebody's career. Plus - and you have my word on this - If you go to The State Department of Labour, I'm NOT going to make statements that will prevent you from getting unemployEE insurance. Plus, we'll give you a small severance, and also, we'll take you free of charge, to the employee fair at the Expo Centre, and we'll also..............."
"But", choked my Job, "I have a wife and three teenage job-lets at home? How am I going to feed them?? How am I going to pay for advertising for them when the time is right for then to have their first employee??"
Well, that's something you and your Human Resources conscious are going to have to work out together!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
And, sadly.....
In two weeks from today, I is gonna be hanging up THIS PARTICULAR web site for about four or five months.....until about August 20th, 2008.
I'll be out of the country for a few weeks, and then, upon my return, I'll be riding my skooter across the U.S.A. and maybe through a lot of Canada (IF our Yankee Green stops getting it arse kicked ten ways to Sunday on international currency markets!!!).
If you wanna put me up and let me crash on your floorspace forra night or two....let me know by May 1st!! I'd appreciate it!
I'll put the address of the road trip stories on this web page shortly (as soon as I can set one up)!!
-E-
posted by CN250 at 8:21 PM
2 Comments:
Why move to a different site during your travels? You can post from your EEPC, you can do mobile blogging from your phone whilst in the USA ... don't confuse me! I've got tooooooooo many bookmarks!!! ;-)
Naw....it's jus' gonna be on one of the old blog pages I'd abandoned forra while.....like skooter-on-101 or something like that! I'll post it shortly!
Best to keep usual blatherings and weird travel adventures seperate on different websites.....
-E-
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